I am always amazed at the denigrating references made of women in general by men (who I might add have daughters, mothers, sisters and female relatives) but it is more than a bit disconcerting when other women use those references as well. And I don’t have to list them because we all know what they are.
In a perfect world, little girls grow up unmolested, unabused sexually by their fathers, step fathers, older male relatives and friends of family. They complete their education, find a decent man who will wait for the marriage bed before imposing all of that sexuality on her so that the children may be born on the right side of the sheets. In a perfect world.
But we all know this is not a perfect world.
To my knowledge, the only woman who has not been called any of those words has been the true virgin, the girl who has never been fondled, never been kissed – one who doesn’t know any of the bases or that they even exist (well – ignorance of the existence of the bases is a stretch).
It’s kind of half offensive half amusing to hear some women referring to other women in such a base fashion when you know that they themselves were no blushing virgin brides – and I am in no way pushing for women to remain virgins until the knight appears on his dashing, muscular steed. I am neither for nor against, but if you were never a blushing virgin bride you should stop before you call a woman a whore or make unbecoming statements in that regard.
There, I said it!
Being a virgin carries no guarantee because virgins are dumped in the same ungracious way as the tainted ones are and often are not replaced by another virgin.
The crux of the matter for me is why the hell society asks women to be virgins (or as close to as possible even though I believe either you are or you are not) to men who are clearly not. Men whose track records would crown them several hundred times over with the crown of scandalizing terms women often bear.
Don’t say it!
Okay I will say it – women can’t do what the guys do and still be a lady. Really? Archaic a lot?
Why do we want to be perfect little ladies for men who run around with any available, any being the operative word, female? They don’t need the experience so they don’t need lessons that you both cannot learn together. Women need to start setting higher standards for themselves and maybe they will make fewer trips to the Gynaecologist’s office unless it’s about fertility.
In a world where women are working, maintaining high-functioning careers, taking care of themselves and their children and sometimes elderly relatives without the help of a man, I don’t know why we are allowing society to hold our sexuality at ransom.
Naiveté about sex and sexuality has not kept us safe from STIs and STDs since Dick is over there running around getting experience – a smorgasbord of experience considering all that is out there.
Promiscuity has its roots in childhood sexual abuse which occurs when stupid parents raise children in ignorance of things of that nature.
While MEN are raping babies, toddlers, young prepubescent girls, teenaged girls who can’t and shouldn’t be able to give consent, some people including women are calling women names.
The next time you call a woman whore or make belittling references, just remember deeply rooted, entrenched inside that behaviour could be a baby, a girl, a reluctant teen who was raped, molested and sexually abused by a man who could well be your man.
Sometimes calling other women names is an easy out for us when we have issues to confront. In other words, you might have a tag your insecurities conjured up for yourself but you hide behind putting it on someone else.
Throw away the labels and go and get help. Don’t take the blame for something some randy old goat did to you when your parents or care givers should have known better than to expose you to a bad situation.
When we are damaged we walk around vulnerable and the vultures are circling because they know how defenseless we feel and that makes us easy targets.
Get help for yourself and do everything to break the cycle for your children both boys and girls, because the boys are just as vulnerable.
Let being an effective chaperone for your children become the focus so we can at least put a dent on this scourge that has been happening from the beginning of time.
Christmas is around the corner and we all can strive to be better. When others go low let us go higher - All the best for the Christmas season!