Coming from a patriarchal society to a society where people, men and women, have been responsible for making their own way into this world, it is crazy that there are those who still think they control other people particularly man to woman, despite and in spite of the fact that women have been proving that they can be as smart as or even smarter than some men. Not only that, women have educated themselves enough to get them to the moon and back. They are surgeons, engineers, very strong leaders in first world countries, scientists, inventors and business owners to name a few. In fact, history has shown that women have been first rate people for a few centuries but had to hide their brilliance behind men to avoid the penalties from patriarchy.
Some men stubbornly cling to the bindings of the patriarchal views they inherited and perhaps experienced and some gullible women because they mindlessly sign on to this diatribe, which is their right if it makes them feel useful.
People who do not pay your bills or contribute to your daily living should have no control especially if you are not involved in criminal activity. Women do not have to feel controlled by men in their community who have no impact at all on their lives. We no longer have the village fireside encircled by men who sit and pow-wow over what the women in the village should be doing. It seems to be a difficulty to let that go!
You do have permission to let that go.
Name calling, fault finding, rallying the rest of the community against particular individuals is all a part of trying to control people and how they live, while they are doing exactly what they want.
I grew up in a community, and I suspect most if not all communities have similar experiences, where everybody is doing everything to prove their maturity and individuality while pointing out the wrongs everyone else is doing. It is like they cornered the market on wrong doing.
Perhaps it is a situation where by shining a light on what others are doing automatically covers them. Nobody can see what I am doing if I bring the focus on what they are doing wrong.
Just like children.
If I close my eyes and cannot see you then you cannot see me. Well, I’m not so sure about this analogy but I am making it work until I find a better one, or not.
Unless words are said in defense or retaliation, then there is a lot of jealousy and bad-mindedness in words about people which should be no concern of yours.
Take for example gossip-mongering.
It must be a very small minded person who sits around all day opining about other people and their affairs. You have to be someone who feels very threatened to involve yourself in the business of others. This speaks directly to low self-esteem and so to feel better about yourself you need to paint a terrible picture of someone else, whether the information is factual or not.
You need, therefore, to start focusing on what you can do to increase your self-worth so that you become more important than the persons you gossip about.
Instead of feeling stuck in your life, perhaps because you never did much and need more experiences, start thinking of ALL the things you never did and make preparations to do them. You do not need to spend a lot of money to have great experiences.
Sitting around laughing at people who fell off the proverbial pedestal will not make your life any better. In fact the so called ‘fallen ones’ usually focus on how to get back up and move forward leaving you behind still stuck on laughing … in the same spot!
Immersed as we are in our communities, we have all been touched by gossip-mongering. It is no joke when they say what goes around comes around. Also, we have all been touched by low self-esteem and low or no self-worth depending on who your people are. Some persons are lucky enough to have people who can instill self-love and self-worth.
Children live what they learn and if your people are filled with low self-worth then that’s all you get unless you have a secondary source that encourages you to be better than all you know.
Many times the helping hand you need is ‘to be found at the end of your sleeves.’ And that really works if you get it right.
Wrong is wrong and sin is sin. Your sin or wrong is not better than mine. It is, perhaps, just different.
When I grow up I want to be just like Will Smith. After his ex-co-star on Fresh Prince trashed him in the media, he never did a better thing than to say just nice things about her. That’s a very big, mature man and we all should be proud that such persons exist in this world.